An old friend of mine from my Broomfield Chamber days recently posted this on Facebook and I’ve received her permission to share it. She lost her son Alex several years ago and just had to put his dog Rocky down this past week. She said it felt like losing another part of Alex. Her perspective on finding gratitude in grief resonates with me as I’m a firm believer that you can find something good in every bad thing that happens. I hope her words bring comfort to someone who needs to hear them. Thank you for allowing me to share this my friend.
“Grief is a part of my life. Every. Single. Day. Some days it’s really heavy. Lately I’ve been feeling pretty raw. Heart heavy. A part of me died on 9/11 – the day my oldest son, Alex, passed. Not the same 9/11 that the world remembers, but the one that shattered my world.
When I choose to change my perspective (not my reality, but another way I look at this profound loss) I find gratitude. As bad as that sounds (and is really hard to say), I’m grateful that I got to spend the last 5 years of my son’s life with him living under the same roof. The five years prior I barely got to see him because he lived in other countries and was living his best life. The life he wanted to experience…one of being a world traveler. Learning. Experiencing. Teaching teens whose own lives were taking them around the world.
Alex took a break from his travels to get a master’s degree and regroup, and we ended up in business together. He then stumbled into a career that made him truly happy – one where he could shine and change the world through his students. He loved teaching. It was certainly his calling. But in true Alex fashion, he wanted more. He found it as a Director and elite tutor at MindFish.
I’m devastated that I lost my son. There’s nothing that makes losing him ok. I have peace in my heart knowing he is with the One who loves him even more than me and I know that I’ll see him again, but…I’m devastated nonetheless.
Until then, I will do what I can to see other perspectives. And while the ache in my heart doesn’t go away, finding that gratitude helps in a very real way. When I connect it with helping someone else who’s going through loss, I know the experience of losing him was the only way I could understand the profound tragedy that 99% of others can’t relate to. It’s because of this experience I can understand and be there for someone else.
I miss my son. But I’m grateful for all he’s taught me and is still teaching me. He’s still a teacher and I’m still learning lessons…from/through all of this.”
